Actually, I was busy watching Smallville, and making a vid where Clark and Lex meet Angel and Spike, and a big gay foursome ensues.
Speaking of big gay things, more QaF fic.
Part 5 ---
Previously.....Justin has ebola, and Brian's semen can not cure him, so he goes to the hospital. Brian sits with Justin in the hospital room, though he'd rather get laid.
Brian walks into the hospital room holding a Blockbuster Video bag. Justin is sitting on the bed, watching TV, and bleeding profusely from his nose.
Brian tosses the bag on the bed near Justin's feet.
Brian - I got you the fucking movies you wanted. Can I go now?
Justin - I told you already, Brian. You can't go until I either get better or die.
Brian groans loudly.
Brian - Do you have any idea how hard it is to get laid in a hospital? There are only four attractive male doctors here.
Justin shrugs as he wipes blood off his face with the back of his hand.
Justin - So go fuck them.
Brian - I already did. I fucked one of them in the bathroom on my way out, one in my car on the way to Blockbuster, and two at the same time on the elevator ride back here. What am I supposed to do now?
Justin - Sit and watch one of the movies with me.
Brian puts one of the movies in the DVD player attached to the hospital TV. It's "Lord of the Rings: Return of the King".
[AUTHOR'S NOTE: You may be wondering how Brian and Justin can watch RoTK on DVD, since it hasn't been released on DVD yet. The answer is that this fic takes place in the future. Also, Brian went to Blockbuster in a flying car. Because it's the future.]
Brian sits on the hospital bed next to Justin, still looking upset.
Brian - I don't see why I need to be here. I already went through all this bullshit the last time you were in the hospital.
Justin - You never visited me in the hospital then.
Brian - Yeah I did, I just didn't let you know I was there. But I was there, every night.
Justin - After you went out and got your dick sucked.
Brian rolls his eyes.
Brian - Well, I couldn't come before I got my dick sucked. That would just be weird.
Justin - Shut up and watch the movie.
After the movie ended, Brian just sits there, staring at the credits in shock.
Brian - Wow. That was...
Justin - Really really gay.
Brian - That was the gayest thing I've ever seen.
Justin - You remember last month when we went to that big gay orgy? This movie was more gay than that.
Brian - It has thrown my entire lifestyle into question.
Justin coughs up a lungful of blood, and then turns to Brian curiously.
Justin - How?
Brian stands up and begins pacing.
Brian - I've fucked thousands of men in my lifetime. Tens of thousands. I think I can honestly say that I'm the most fabulous fag who has ever lived.
Brian - But if that movie is what it means to be gay, then...well, I just feel so inadequate.
Brian's eyes widen in panic.
Brian - Holy fuck. I might be straight!
Justin - My ass begs to differ.
Brian shakes his head.
Brian - No, I could be. I mean, we have anal sex four times a day, on average, but we're not nearly as gay as Sam and Frodo, Justin. Not nearly.
Brian sits down on a chair and puts his head into his hands.
Brian - It makes sense, doesn't it, that I would be straight? Now that I really think about it. You have all that long, girly blond hair. It's just like fucking a woman.
Justin runs a hand through his hair, smearing it with the blood that he recently coughed up.
Justin - My hair isn't girly.
Brian - This is terrible. I don't know what to do.
Brian stands up and starts pacing again.
Brian - Usually whenever I'm confronted with a problem, I just go out and get some dick. Bad day at work? Dick. Fight with Michael? Dick. Justin in a coma? Dick. Can't find the perfect scarf to go with my new leather jacket? Dick.
Brian leans over the bed and stares at Justin, looking panicked.
Brian - The answer to all of life's problems is dick. But what do I do when I can no longer have dick?
Justin reaches up and strokes Brian's face with his blood-stained hand.
Justin - You will always have dick, Brian.
Brian - No. No, I can't. I'm not gay.
Justin - The psychiatric wing is right around the corner if you need it.
Brian - Justin, you have to help me.
Justin - Have we all forgotten that I have ebola?
to be continued...